I’m just me, with one boob
When I was asked to write a guest blog for Flat Fortnight, I was keen. But where to start? I don’t have a whizzy story; I am just me, with one breast. It would have been easy to write about my breast cancer treatment and all that has happened along the way, but my flat side? Well, it’s just me.
On paper I have ‘lost my breast’, but I don’t feel lost. My breast has gone, yes, but that’s ok. In many respects I feel more me. I love that space on my chest, it’s very much part of me and has been since the moment I woke up after my surgery.
I do wear a bra and prosthesis when I’m out (except on a cold, wet school run – hurrah for winter jumpers!). It’s not to hide my flatness, it’s for symmetry and the modesty of my remaining breast. When I’m at home I usually go au-natural (though I sometimes sling my granny shawl around me if a stranger rings the doorbell). And, I do have some days at home, usually when I’m tired, that I need my prosthetic to even me up and relieve those postural aches and pains.
I would like surgery for symmetry one day to be a double flattie, but it is a big decision and not one to rush. Some days I’m happy as I am, other days I can’t wait to get rid of the other one. But, I can honestly say I haven’t had one day that I’ve wanted reconstruction. For me, it’s going to be ‘one or none’. That’s just how it is. I’ve marvelled at some of my friend’s new boobs and nipple tattoos, they’re valid decisions and personal to them. Just not for me.
I love my flat side, it’s soft and comfortable (most of the time). Even my daughter moves my remaining boob out of the way when we cuddle up to read a story, she says it gets in the way.
I never envisioned a day that I’d be shouting to my gorgeous family, “Does anyone know where my boob is?”. But that is a regular conversation now. Along with their various replies “which one?”, “Your knitted knocker or your heavy one?”, “your blue one or your yellow one?”, “your swimming one?”. So many questions, so many boobs, but they’re all mine. Whether they are found on the washing line, on the radiator or in the wardrobe, they all have their outings and their place in my life, for now.
I’m thankful and proud to be part of the Flat Friends UK family (and a volunteer moderator now as well, go me!). A wonderful group of ladies who ‘just get it’. Ladies who you can rely on to be there, to pick you up when needed, laugh with you, and celebrate life together. Life is good.