I wanted to take this opportunity to evaluate the negatives and the positives, yes there are some, of having breast cancer. I was diagnosed in February 2019 when I was 30 years old. My treatment program included 6 rounds of chemo, a single mastectomy and 15 sessions of radiotherapy.

The Negatives
I will start with the negatives, ignore the obvious ones like chemo sucks and I don’t want to die! My first issue was getting referred from the GP to the breast care centre. It has surprised me how often this is an issue. In my experience the first doctor thought I had a bruise on breast and asked me to come back in 2/3 weeks if it didn’t improve. When I asked how I was meant to have bruised my breast he said maybe from a toddler headbutting my breast. Even when I explained I didn’t have children he said he was 99% sure it was a bruise! That was high odds to argue with, so I booked in an appointment 3 weeks later and made sure it was a female doctor. I had a large mass in my breast and over the next 3 weeks I started to experience pain in my breast & under my armpit. This next consultation lasted approx. 3 minutes. After a quick examination she said she couldn’t feel anything & when I pointed it out, she just said it was a hardening of my breast tissue. When I asked what I should do about the pain she advised me to take some evening primrose oil. At this point I had had enough and asked to be referred which she then agreed to. When I went to the Breast care centre, they gave me an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy and told me that day I had cancer. I was expecting a cyst but no, I had a whole 8cm tumour going on.

I have to say through my whole treatment I couldn’t fault the hospital. Their care was amazing and always felt there was someone at the end of the phone to help. The only downfall was when it came to the decision of reconstruction. I knew from the day they told me I had to have a mastectomy that I would want the other breast removed too. This was something a voiced at many consultations, so they were aware. As I was nearing the end of my treatment at my routine check in meetings with the nurse, we had discussed this, and she told me I would need to be assessed to ensure I am ‘of sound mind’ before this could be considered. I found this concept rather strange as you could be offered a false breast, part of your tummy or back could be taken to make a breast and have your other boob operated on to create symmetry, all without an appointment with a psychiatrist. Why was it so frowned upon to go flat? Well, it turns out to be a mix of whether there is funding in place, how the doctors view an audit which seemed to have been carried out years ago and holds very little relevance and it is up to the individual surgeon. So, I played the game had my assessment with a lovely nurse who signed me off as perfectly sane and confirmed I understood my choices. Even then though my surgeon who had agreed to do the surgery wrote in one of my letters that ‘Helen thinks this will make her feel better, but I think it will make her feel worse’. Bloody charming! I have had the operation and have never felt more comfortable in my own skin.

My final negative is the lasting effects of cancer. I hate it when people turn round and say, ‘at least your all better now’. They are not in my head stressing about each and every pain thinking the cancer is back. Also, the treatment is so harsh that somethings will never go back to how they were you just have to live with a new normal. It’s nearly 2 years since I had my radiotherapy and I still have pain in my ribs and chest area. I still suffer with nose bleeds a lot which was brought on from the chemo. Don’t get me started on the menopausal symptoms I get from the hormone treatment! Although there is no evidence of cancer in me, it lives rent free in my head every day. Some days it’s louder than others but always there.